The Family Without Our Girl

If you've been wondering how the rest of the family is prior to Carol's death, here's your answer. AWFUL. We are all a mess. We can't live without her. Justine, oh poor baby Justine, she fell apart. She has no big sister to go to anymore. She's now on her own. Nobody to say, "I'm your big sister" anymore. This world has fallen apart now that we've had to let go of our Carol. It's not easy to keep on moving. How can we even live? Carol will forever be missed. Without our girl, what do we do?

Nightmare Come True

The truth has finally set me. Carol Addison Fink isn't apart of this earth anymore. She is earth history. My angel has flown away from me. My beautiful girl. Why can't she be here? I DON'T WANT THIS TO BE MY NIGHTMARE!!!

Oh Carol, help me through it, will you? Will you look down upon me and tell me I'm doing okay. Will you comfort me when I need you? Will I ever feel you? Carol, nothing breaks me more than this nightmare come true.

Passed Away: Carol's Story

Life moves on. Things happen. You just have to move on from what is rough in life for you. Some things, you'll never be able to move from. You just can't get passed it. This is the hardest thing I've had to write in the history of Addison's Family and Life, but here it goes....

    Monday, March 10th 2014

 I woke Carol and Justine for the nursery, and then I got dressed. Carol hasn't said anything in days. Then she did. "Addi, I'm scared. I don't want to go." She didn't sound like her at all. I had to have her repeat herself so that I can know it's her. She said it again, like I was stupid. I picked her up. "Get through this day, and come right back home, okay?" I said. She nodded. Then, when we were leaving she began freaking out. She was crying, denying to go. "Stop Carol. You have to go." I said firmly. I picked her up and took her there. I told the nursery workers that she is fussy so they took her in and said they'll calm her down. I smiled and left. Now, Carol and Justine are at the nursery and I am set to get on with my day! Wish me luck with Carol for the rest of this day! Let's hope she isn't fussy later!

I thought that was the end of that rough day. But, little did I know, that it would get a lot worse than this...

At 1:30pm, I got a call from the middle of my class from Ms. Nalonan. I said to the teacher that it is very important, and luckily it was one of the teacher's who loves me, so she let me go. I ran out and answered. "Addison, get to the hospital immediately. Carol passed out at the nursery." She said. "What? What for-" I asked as she interupted me. "Get here now!" She said. I went back inside the class and told the teacher. She let me go to the hospital.

At 1:45pm, I arrived at the Los Angeles Children's Hospital. I sat down by Ms. Nalonan. "What happened?!" I asked. "Carol" she said. "Tell me everything" I said. "I don't know much" she said. I frowned. "But what I do know is, Carol was playing and then passed out and had a seizure. They tried to wake her up, but they couldn't so she was rushed here after they called me." She explained. I was almost crying, as I leaned my head into Ms. Nalonan. We were waiting and talking about Carol, praying, and sending her little messages in our imaginations.

At 2:30pm, or so, someone working on Carol came out and was talking to one of the ladies. I got up. "I'm Carol's mom. Is everything okay?" I asked, panicked. "She's doing great" she said and faked a smile, I could tell.

             4:02PM

The news was brought out by one of the doctor's who was talking to Carol. "Addison" he said. I got up and went over as Ms. Nalonan sat and waited. "While we were working on Carol, we saw the Malaria was spread, all over her." He explained. "And, we're very sorry to say this but..." he paused. "We can't keep working on Carol anymore. We can't do anything else, it would be just too cruel. I-I'm so sorry." He said. He touched my shoulder and left. I went and sat by Ms. Nalonan. "What happened?" She asked. I looked at her and then into the sky. "My baby is...." I said. I began to cry. Ms. Nalonan knew exactly what had happened. She knew Carol... died. "Oh Addison, I'm so so so so sorry." She said. "I'm okay" I said, wiping away all my tears. I got up. I went to the desk. "Can I see her?" I asked. The lady was confused. "Carol Addison Fink" I said, getting her on track. "Oh, umm, one second" she said looking for Carol in the computer. "Miss, um, Carol is-" she said. "I know she's dead." I said. She frowned. "Can I see her?" I asked firmly. "Tomorrow, Miss" she said, waiting for me to say my name. "Addison" I said. "Miss Addison, they still have stuff to do with her." She said. I walked away. I walked out. I went back home. I called Woody to pick up poor Justine who was still there an hour after she should've been picked up. Woody took her and went with her somewhere. I sat there and I cried on my bed. I looked at photos of her, and cried so hard. "Oh Carol, how!!!!!!" I screamed to myself. I cried all night. Nothing could revive my pain, just like nothing could revive Carol.

Rest In Heavenly Peace to my beautiful Carol Addison Fink. No matter what, we remember, we fight!

Dear Heaven's Angel Carol Addison Fink,

Carol, nothing pains me more than to know that you are gone. Knowing that there is nothing I can do to bring you back, pains me more than anything else in the world. I cannot take being without you. It's way too much! It's already been 3 almost 4 days! I'm so upset without you, honey girl! Please remember that we don't forget you!!! Woody misses you, Justine misses you, Bailey misses you, Ms. Nalonan misses you. I MISS YOU!!! Please, please, please come back to me!!!! NO WORDS CAN EXPRESS THIS PAIN!

My angel has finally flew away from us and to the Heavens. I miss her more than anything. She was my all. Carol Addison Fink, flew away from us. She's gone away from us now. Why can't I just have her back?

On March 10th 2014, this precious soul was lost from earth. She began an angel and flew away from us. My beautiful, oldest child, was struck with Malaria and was taken to Heaven. Carol Addison Fink. My angel girl. How did this happen to you? How can I even live?!

Carol Addison Fink, Malaria victim, at only 3 and 7 months

August 4th 2010-March 10th 2014

REST IN HEAVENLY PEACE MY BEAUTIFUL GIRL!

A Monday Wake Up

It's been an odd Monday wake up. I woke Carol and Justine for the nursery, and then I got dressed. Carol hasn't said anything in days. Then she did. "Addi, I'm scared. I don't want to go." She didn't sound like her at all. I had to have her repeat herself so that I can know it's her. She said it again, like I was stupid. I picked her up. "Get through this day, and come right back home, okay?" I said. She nodded. Then, when we were leaving she began freaking out. She was crying, denying to go. "Stop Carol. You have to go." I said firmly. I picked her up and took her there. I told the nursery workers that she is fussy so they took her in and said they'll calm her down. I smiled and left. Now, Carol and Justine are at the nursery and I am set to get on with my day! Wish me luck with Carol for the rest of this day! Let's hope she isn't fussy later!

Her Little Voice

I haven't heard Carol's little voice in so long it seems. Why can't I hear her little voice anymore? What happened to my baby girl? Shouldn't I be able to hear my own girl? I feel like I haven't heard it in weeks. It has been days, though.

I just hope that this little girl will bring her voice back and say something strongly, like the strong girl I know. Say something, Carol. What happened to your little voice?

She's Back On Track

Carol is back from the hospital and she is doing well! She returned with a watermelon popsicle and a smile on her face. "Hi, Carol" I said. She smiled. She didn't say a word. I'm worried. Why isn't she talking? I havenn't heard her voice for 2 days. She didn't talk yesterday, or today? Weird...

Welcome back Carol Addison Fink! You were missed for sure! Were glad to have you back! She's back and back on track!

The Overnight Causes

The hospital called and said Carol woke up! My baby woke up from her seizure! I am so happy! The only thing is, Carol has to stay overnight until March 9th 2014. Then I can do whatever I want with her. I can spend the entire 9th and 10th and 11th and 12th and so on with her! Thank God so much for her! THANK GOD.

I just hope she is okay tonight. Carol just has to stay strong. We'll keep going and we'll fight for her. This will only be tonight. Only tonight...

Life Support

Okay, Woody just gave me the worst news on Carol!!! She isn't dead, but she is on life support! They can't take her off it for a while. I'm so panicked for my baby!!!!

To Carol,
Carol, don't die on me like this. Okay, we can get through this together. Malaria is taking you down and you have no idea how much this breaks me. Don't let it shoot you down. You've gotta get back up and start again. Don't start again in Heaven. Make a new beginning here. Please girl! Please, sweet angel. Don't leave me like this. I've been panicked all night for you, so please don't leave us like this. Carol, we need you. I am praying so hard right now. Okay, I've got you. Tight in my arms, hold on sweetie.

I hope that Carol can be taken off life support so that she can come home with us, lay in her own bed, and go to sleep beside me. God, help her!

The Loss

I am really afraid right now. As soon as we got back from my friend's uncles, Carol and Justine wanted to play outside in the snow. So, my best friend Bailey and I took them out. They slid down the slides while Bailey and I talked on the swings. Suddenly, Justine said help. We rushed over to see Carol passed out at the bottom of the slide. I panicked and picked her up. Bailey picked up Justine and we rushed home. On the edge of the streets, we called 911 and they arrived there. They took Carol and we rushed Justine home. I began to write this. I've been panicked all night hoping my baby is okay. Please tell me she is okay.

If this is the day that I lose Carol, I'll be crushed. I'll be the most crushed person on earth without her. I've been praying all night to God that my angel will be alright. I haven't found out much yet, but I will later. They're still working on Carol. Let her survive. I don't want this to be the loss.

Another Swimming Trip

So, we just got back from another swimming trip! It was so much fun. I met this girl who really liked Carol and Justine and played with them with me. It was so much fun! Carol and I did our regular changeroom routine. We had so much fun tonight! There was no Surf N' Turf, but it was nice for the girls to experience both because they are both so much fun!

The trip brings me back to the one on my birthday with Carol. It was a little bit different. She wasn't as happy. But, I'm glad she was talking more than she has been in he past days. Well, that was our swimming trip! More are to come!

The Awesome Drive Up: Making Moments

I know that March 4th-April 29th has begun. I knew that on the car drive. Oh yeah, and were there! Haha! Forgot to say that! Um, so I did something with Carol. Her and I had my 3DS and we recorded our trip. We showed out the window, at the snow. We talked. We made a video about Woody! He talked and fed Carol and Justine's Monkey. It was really fun. The point is, I made moments with my Carol. That's all that matters!

Another Good Trip

I'm so happy to say that were taking another trip back up to the place where the swimming pool was and where it all began! I'm stoked to be taking Carol up again! Were leaving soon, so bye!

Fight Malaria for My Baby

This blog post is for my angel, Carol Addison Fink. A while ago, I made this video for her to help fight her Malaria.

Did you like the video? This is for my angel, Carol Addison Fink.

How She Is

Carol has been experiencing so many changes. She is barely herself. She is not talking often, and she seems so afraid. I can barely tell who she is anymore. Where's my angel gone to? Why isn't she her anymore?

Remember this? She never smiles like this anymore. She doesn't even let me touch her hair to make it look nice. She keeps it messy, and I send her places like that. She normally is so dressed up to go places. She usually never stayed in her pyjamas, even on a rainy day. She always looked her best.

This is usually how her hair is everyday. That day, she just was having too much fun to even bother with it. Now, she can't even do it for church! What happened?

How is she going to live life like this? I trust Ms. Nalonan that this is a phase from March to April, but I don't really know. How do I live my life with Carol like this?

Bath Time With Carol and Justine

Earlier, I bathed my two angels. I took my rainbow white-ish blanket and laid it on the floor. I took the fur real monkey in, and ran the bath. I brushed my hair and put my pink highlight robe on. I got Carol undressed and into her one which was the same as mine, and Justine into her purple one. They played with Monkey and then we got in the bath and turned off Monkey. I sat my the drain, because one of them could get easily hurt by banging on it, and they are rough girls. It was me then Carol then Justine. I washed myself, then them. I got them out and then we got in our PJ's. I sent them to bed.

I love bathing with Carol and Justine. It's just more memories and bonds for us to have together. It's really great to bath with them and share a bond over that. That was bathing with my girls.

Ice Cream with Carol and Justine

Today, to brighten the mood of changes, I took Carol and Justine for a little bit of ice cream at DQ. Yes, I am aware that it is winter. But anything for my Carol and Justine. They both got dilly bars. They love them. They have loved them since Summer 2013. Justine ate hers up, and Carol didn't touch hers. What happened to my non-picky eater? "Carol, are you going to have your ice cream?" I asked. "No, I'm not hungry." Carol responded. I stared at little Justine, smiling so big, with a dirty chocolate ice cream face. It really brightened me. I got a napkin and wiped my girl. She laughed and giggled. Carol just sat there and watched us. I took the ice cream home and into the freezer. I plan on trying to offer it to Carol again, or just giving it to Justine in a few days. That was our dilly bar ice cream trip!

Changes -What's Happening-

Carol has been changing. It's odd and a little bit scary. I still see herself inside of her. Carol's little inspirational, life fixing, self is still there. She seems so nervous. All of her clothes and jackets and blankets are torn up. She's been picking at them because she is nervous. Lately, she's been waking up late. Normally she wakes up at 7:00am on weekdays, and on weekends at 8:00am. Now she wakes up at 10:00am to 11:00am on weekends, but on weekdays, she has no choice but to wake up at 7:00am. But she is really tired and worn out. I don't know what is happening. Why isn't she her old self?

She needs to just be herself again! This isn't Carol. Where did my Carol go? Why is she changing so much? Ms. Nalonan tells me it's her instinct that until March and April are over, she'll be afraid and she'll change. So, she's not going to be her for months? What's happening...

The March Arrival!

March 1st 2014 is offically here. Addison's Family and Life is no longer February! This month, I'm going to make blog posts just like last month. Life stories. How this whole thing with Malaria and Carol goes. All about baby Justine growing up to be a big girl! Carol's growing too! HAPPY MARCH TO YOU ALL.

Happy official March from Addison and the whole family! I hope this is an amazing month for you, just as it will be for me!

Almost All Impossible

The life that Carol Addison Fink is carrying on seems impossible to keep going. I feel like I am losing her already. She doesn't seem that much different. I don't know why I feel this way, but I do. I just don't want to see her leave us so quickly. How is this happening to the Fink family? We have to have our oldest child to be a full family. We have to have all of our children to be a full family. When will Carol be cured so we can go back to being a full family?

Look at her. How much more precious can she get? I mean, this is her from January. That was when she was fully herself. She was still with us, fully. I still cry about her being almost all gone.

This is Carol from my birthday, right after swimming. She already took off her breathing tube. I can even see some changes in her there. What is happening to her?

All of this seems impossible. She has to be here with us forevermore. I need to be gone before her, it's not right for me to lose her. I know that for sure. This is almost all impossible. 

Other Way This Time

Last night, I don't think Carol was over the night before. I got pretty mad at her. Let me tell you what happened last night.

At 3:00am, my instinct told me to wake up. I thought of Carol. I remembered that she usually would be waking me up. "You awake?" I asked. Nobody replied. I felt like Carol as I began to shake her awake. "Carol, wake up." I said. She sat up as if she wasn't even tired. She stared at me. I turned the lights on and then immediately dimmed them down, so she was okay. I sat beside her. "You didn't wake me." I said. "Why?" "I'm not allowed." Carol said. "Where'd you hear that?" I asked. "You were mad so I didn't want you to be mad at me again." She said. I hugged her. "Wake me up, please wake me up, sweetie! Okay? Always wake me up." I said. "But why?" She asked. "Because, if you need me, you've got me. It makes me feel a lot better knowing that you need me." I said. She nodded and hugged me. "Do you need anything?" I asked. "No, I'm sleepy." She said. I rocked her for a little bit, and then placed her beside me. I went to sleep and then awoke for the next day.

So, basically last night was the other way around. I woke up Carol needing her, and she woke up for me. We'll always be that way. We can do anything for each other. I know Carol well enough to know that she likes waking me happy and was happy that I did the same thing for her. Thank You Carol for that.

Wake Me Up Again

Last night, Carol woke me up. She woke me up feeling sick and dizzy. "Addi, Addi, ADDI!!" She said shaking me awake. "What is it?" I said. "I don't feel good." She said. I sat up and placed her on my lap. I rocked her for a bit. Then, she got up and said she was hot. I got her into a Pull-Up (which she wears at night time) and a blue flowery tank top that she had from last summer. She was hungry so I turned on the light in the hall to get her a yogurt. Carol quickly covered her eyes. I dimmed down the lights a bit. "What's the matter?" I asked. "Too bright!!" She complained. I picked her up and went up to get yogurt. I placed her on the counter, handed her a blueberry yogurt and then sat down on a chair. "Hurry" I said, "I have stuff to do tomorrow, and I can't be late." Carol hurried and finished the yogurt. I took her hand and led her downstairs. The minute we got down, Carol complained again. "I have to pee!!!" She said holding it in, jumping around like she's had to go for hours. "You're kidding me?" I said looking down at her. She shook her head. "Ughh!" I said picking her up and taking her upstairs. She went to the bathroom and then came back down. I layed her in bed and went to bed myself. After about five minutes, she began kicking around. "Go to bed" I said exhausted. "But I'm bored." She said, acting like I wouldn't be mad at her. I immediately sat up and grabbed her shoulders, angrily. "Stop that right now, missy. Now you listen to me. I have stuff to do tomorrow and I need to get sleep. It's 3:00am so you need to behave right now. You got it?" I said really madly. Carol nodded, scared. "Don't take it the wrong way, Carol. I just need sleep, okay?" I said sweetly. She turned and went to sleep without answering.

That night, I had enough of dealing with her waking me up. Normally, I didn't. She never made that much of a fuss. I feel pretty bad now. She's upset today, and I think that's why. I'm going to have to apologize to my baby. I feel awful! Well, that's it. She woke me up again.

Sickness Never Gets Better Here at the Finks!

Okay, long post title, huh? Well, that's because I speak the truth. Sickness never gets better with the Finks. Some things just seem impossible. Like, how is Justine so healthy, and then there is sick Carol? How do you call these two sisters? They have blood genetics saying they are sisters, but one's blood is healthy and the other's isn't. How can you say these 2 are so related?

Carol, please get better so you and Justine can be like sisters! I've never been more sad that you have to be like this. Honey, please tell me you get okay. Please get better, angel. Okay? Please, Carol, please....

When will this sickness end? Tell me it's soon, so my babies can be sisters again!

Great Sisters

I am so proud of Carol and Justine. They are such good sisters to each other. I can see them growing up this way too. Because they are only 2 years apart, they have easy communication. But if Carol were older or Justine were younger, it'd be harder for the two of them to get along. I'm glad that this is the way they are. Carol is so polite to Justine. She always asks me if I need help taking care of her. "You guys aren't that far apart" I'd say, "you don't need to take care of her." "But she's my little sister. Little sister. So I can." Carol would say.

The girls bathe together too because they are so young. It's a lot of fun for them. Our bath routine is fun too. I'll explain the bath routine next post. We do the same thing every time. I'm very pleased with how much manners Carol has towards her sister. When Carol wants to play with the monkey fur real that they take into the bathroom while the bath runs, she plays until Justine cries for it, and in a flash Carol will give it to her. I haven't seen one fight between the two, and I sure hope it never changes, because they're amazing.

I know this only says "world's Best sister" but I couldn't find one that says sisters. This, although, says that they both think they have the best sister, which is each other. I couldn't imagine them having better than each other, those two!

Blog Back

Hi, it's Addison. Addison's Family and Life is back on track! This blog has officially returned! So, I'm not getting you caught up this post, I will on my next posts. Thanks for viewing.

Blog Break

Here on Addison's Family and Life, we take blog breaks. Why? Well, after tragic things happen, then I don't have the mood to write. So, we are now on a blog break because of Carol dying in March, likely. Don't worry, I'm not ending the blog. This is just for now, and soon I'll have a blog back post! Thanks for reading, be back soon!

Time Watch with Carol

I just found out the worst news ever! After Carol's last doctors appointment, I found out that my angel will most likely be dying! Yes, it is TERRIBLE, I can barely take it!! Okay, even worse thing to say. I bet you're thinking, "How can it get worse than that?" Well, let me tell ya. Ms. Nalonan said her estimated death dates are between March 4th 2014 and April 29th 2014. I freaked out. Then to top it off, I found out it is most likely March. NEXT MONTH! You're kidding me!!!!!!! I NEED CAROL!!!!

Sweet Angel Carol,
You don't even know how much I hate writing this post. Trust me darling. I know that we'll have to make our time together last more than anything. I'm torn up, baby. Now, let's just make the best of this. We have a while with each other. And if they can cure Malaria before March, then I'm okay. I know you hate talking about it, but we'll have to have this talk. Writing to you on here is like I am telling you this for real. I'll let you know in the real world soon, Carol, angel. Okay, keep your head high baby!

Carol hates talking about Malaria, and her reason why not, it really crushes me. She said that she doesn't feel bad for herself, she just said that she doesn't want to hurt me by talking about it. She also said she hates talking about it because she doesn't wanna worry about the future. She wants to live the present day. These are her words, "Live the present day. Don't dwell on the past, or look up into the future." That makes me happy, but crushed at the same time.

I know my Carol more than anyone does. I know she knows she is going to die. I know she is afraid. She acts so brave about it, but I know she's scared more than anything. Well, I'm now keeping an eye on time.

Malaria Only Gets Worse

Carol hasn't been doing the best with her Malaria, and it's only getting worse for her. She has been sick a lot, and I've had to take time out of my day to stay home with her. I'm glad I get to bond with her, but I think she is totally okay. When she wakes up, she says she's sick and then coughs and makes it seem bad, I get Woody to take Justine to the nursery, and then after an hour, Carol's all peppy and okay. I know she just feels bad about things with Malaria. She just doesn't wanna leave me, and that's okay.

Oh little Carol!

Sleeping Problems

Sorry I haven't written since the swimming pool, we've had a lot going on. Now, let me tell you about some issues we've had with Carol. Sleeping problems. Every night since my birthday, she's been waking me up and telling me she's sick. She throws up, gets extremely hot, and then needs a snack, and goes back to sleep. This has been happening a lot, and I asked Ms. Nalonan if it's an issue. She said it's all side effects and it's okay. She said it is okay for her to wake me every night, as long as she doesn't keep me up with her for over 45 minutes, because that'd get annoying. Carol usually has me up for 25 minutes at least. So, Carol now has sleeping issues. It doesn't disrupt anyone else. That's no worry.

I had to change Carol out of her pyjamas into just wearing this. She was really hot. This was on February 10th 2014, so last night. Those are Carol's sleeping problems.

Carol Addison Fink- Heaven

Believe it or not, I made another YouTube video! It's pretty awesome. It has my song Heaven by KidzBop on it! It's such an awesome video! It is all about Carol, and how she will fly to Heaven one day.

This is it! Heaven! Watch it and comment too! Thanks guys, again.

Carol Fink's Journey in Life

I made another video on YouTube! It is BY FAR my best video! It's called Carol Fink's Journey in Life. It is such a good video!

Here it is! It tells the story of my birthday, TODAY, on there too! Thanks for viewing this video, guys.

The Surf N' Turf Experience

Okay, that swimming trip was unforgettable! Let me tell you the story...

When we got to the pool, we went into the family changerooms, because Carol has to use the disability changerooms, and only family has those. So, we went in. I took Carol into the disabled rooms and I got myself into my swimsuit. I got her into hers, and then came the medication part. I told her I had to refill her oxygen thing, or whatever it was. I took it off of her and cleaned it off for the pool and put it back on her. Then, I told her she had to take a pill, but it tasted horrible. I lifted her up by the sink and she took it, then a drink of water. Then the needle part. I told her it wont hurt. She was scared. I grabbed her hand and quickly shot it into her shoulder. She screamed. I picked her up and rocked her for five minutes, then we got out there.

While Bailey, my best friend, hung out with some of our other friends I took Carol, Justine, and Woody on the slides. We had a blast sliding and sliding. We had a little order thing! For the first slide round, I took Carol and Woody took Justine. For the second round, I took Justine and Woody took Carol. For the third, Woody and I went first, and then we caught the girls at the bottom. Then for the fourth, we all went in a train ordered Justine, Carol, me, Woody. So, smallest to biggest. We kept repeating that. Then, Woody took Justine and they played in the little kids' playslides, and I took Carol into the big pool. She floated on a pink fish raft and I pushed it. I didn't care how many people looked at me like, "why does your kid have tubes all over her?" I just laughed with Carol, and had not even 1% of embarassment on her. 

After the pool, we went to the changerooms and Carol and I repeated that same routine from before. Tube, pill, needle. Then, we got home and had mint ice cream. Then that was it! That was our Surf N' Turf experience.

This is our beautiful Carol Addison Fink, right after the pool. She was looking back at me when I was cleaning up her breathing tube. How beautiful? It's good to have memories like her.

Back and Ready to Go!

I got back from school about 20 minutes ago, and I got Carol dropped off, packed up and ready to go! I didn't get Carol dropped of until we literally were driving away. I packed her stuff and Justine's with mine and got in. I was panicked that Carol wouldn't make it for the trip, then Ms. Nalonan quickly put her on me and ran out. I smiled and looked at Carol. Carol was wearing a breathing tube, like those oxygen tubes that go from your nose and on your face. I looked at her weirdly. "I can't breathe so I have to wear this!" Carol said, ever so positively. I smiled at her. "Okay!" I said. Carol handed me a red bag. "What's this?" I asked. "I don't know, Ms. Nalonan said give it to you." She said confused. I saw a sticky note on it that said, "if Carol is going swimming, use these medications on her with the directions inside." I set it down. "Thanks!" I said. Carol nodded and leaned her head on the door, and we drove off.

So, now I am posting on my phone, which is really slow. Carol is asking what I am writing, and the only words she understands are Carol, Justine, Woody, Bailey, Addison. All the other words, she says I am writing in giberish! Funny girl! Okay, I gotta stop typing, my fingers hurt! BYE!

Happy Birthday to Me!

Today is my birthday and I am so happy! I woke up and all of my friends gave me presents which was a lot of candy!!! I took it all to school. I am so happy it's a Friday, so it's short and then the weekend. So, we are planning to go to my friend's uncle's house for my birthday. We go to this swimming pool and every 3 or 6 months, they have this thing they call Surf N' Turf, which has slide races, popsicles, and so much more!

After school, I am taking Carol and Justine along with my friends to the pool. It's going to be so much fun to bring Carol and Justine there. This is their first time, and luckily, their first time is Surf N' Turf. I'm so happy right now!

Finally, after school, I get Carol out of the hospital! She gets to come with us to the pool. I'm so glad she is coming, that is all I want for my birthday! Okay, I gotta go and get my cupcakes for school! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADDI!

Carol Fink- Thank You For This

I made my official first YouTube video! I am so proud of it! It is called Carol Fink- Thank You For This. I'm very proud of this video!

Here it is! Please watch it! It's amazing! It has the song In Your Arms by an amazing artist, Heather Miller. Thanks for viewing my video, guys!

Carol's Disease

I hate to say this, but Carol has been assured with a disease. It's not anything small, it is a life threatening disease. My angel has a disease. How can this be? Let me tell you a little bit about what Carol has...

Carol has a disease called Malaria which is very uncommon in America. It's common in Africa. She is 1/3 people who got Malaria in America. Malaria is caused by an infectious female mosquito which bites you and gives you an infection, which spreads through your whole body. There are 4 types of Malaria. Out of all the four, the one called Plasmodium Falciparum is the most life threatening, and I'm sad to say Carol caught it. She has had it since December 28th 2013, and I never knew.

Sadly, there is no Malaria cure. Nobody has found out how to cure it. The doctors have been working towards curing it so Carol can live. She gets treatments a lot, too. She has breathing issues from it. On the 6th til the 7th, Carol will be in the hospital getting Malaria treatments.

Carol also has a bad side effect called Vasovagal Response. It has many effects to it. Here are the effects Carol is getting from it...

• Light seeming to bright
• Diziness
• Headaches
• Seizures
• Fainting
• Vomitting
• Dehydration
• Random onsets of feeling extremely hot
• Lack of sleep
• Stress

That's what Ms. Nalonan told me she has been getting from her Malaria. I told Justine that Carol wouldn't be home for a while, and she went to get fun treats (treatments). Justine said she was happy for her big sister. Justine just brightens the mood about it. Thanks to Justine, I feel more okay.

I told Woody about Carol's Malaria, and he is almost as crushed as I am. I now stick by Carol, and I forever will until she is well. Even when she is well again, nothing will drive me away from her. So, that is all about Carol's disease.

Prayers for Carol

Carol is still being checked out, and I am scared right now. I don't want anything bad to happen to her! I'm so scared right now, I'm going to pray.

Dear God,
God, don't let anything bad happen to my baby. Let it be nothing, please. Just let her live a normal life. I can't bare to think about her being sick forever. Please, just don't make me let her go like that. She can't just slip away that easily, can she? God, don't put my baby to rest. She isn't weak, she's okay. Let her last, let her last.

Amen.

Hopefully this works because this is all I want. My baby needs to be here, and she needs to be herself! Those are my prayers to Carol.

Doctors Appointments Complete!

Okay, I just was told by Ms. Nalonan that the doctors appointments are completed! The results are... not what I thought. Justine's appointment went magnificently! Everyone says that she is the healthiest person on earth! Carol, well, they say there is something wrong. They say that she has a disease, possibly, but they don't know what. They say it could just be an infection! I'm terrified for Carol right now. I don't want her to have a disease!

Carol honey, I just hope that you are okay right now! You should know that no matter what, I've got you in my hands. Okay, I wont let go so easily. I'll never let you go. Nothing bad will happen to you. Okay girl, I've got you tight. I've got you in my hands!

Please pray for Carol right now. I hope she is okay. So, this means the doctors appointments are complete.

Doctors Appointments

Today, I am taking Carol and Justine to have doctors appointments at the doctors here. I met Ms. Nalonan, who will be giving them checkups. She is satisfied with how polite Carol is, which a lot of people are! So, I plan to write later about how this goes!

About Carol and Justine

So, to help welcome my blog more, I'd like to tell you more about Carol Fink and Justine Fink. They are my 2 baby girls, and one by one, I'll introduce them.

This is Carol Addison Fink, our oldest child. She is 3 years old and 6 months right now. Carol has light brown hair, but it turns blonder as times leads on. She has brown eyes like me, and they are so big and dark! It's beautiful. Her birthday is August 4th 2010, sharing it with my friends. Carol can be inspirational. She inspires you to keep moving when you're down! Carol is very healthy. She loves the colors green and pink. Carol is very intelligent for her age, and I'm happy to say she is mine.

Now, baby Justine Fink, we don't have photos of. But let me explain. Justine Bailey Fink is her full name. She was named after my best friend, Bailey. Justine has dark brown hair and green eyes. She was born on September 24th 2012. She is 1 year and 5 months old right now, as of February 2014. Justine made up her own little word, "anemena" which she says all the time. She is a lot less intelligent as Carol, and I see it staying that way. Justine is closer with Woody, but loves me too. She is just less comfortable with me than him.

Those are my 2 beautiful angel girls! That was all about them!

Introduction

Hi, my name is Addison! I am 15 years old born February 7th 1998. I used live on a cruise ship called the S.S Tipton. I am planning to have summer there, and then I am spending my winter in NYC. So, let me tell you about my life! I am a very hyper girl who loves candy!!! I am 72 pounds, very skinny!!!!! I do eat a lot of candy. I have light brown hair, and brown eyes.  My boyfriend is Woody Fink. He is the cutest guy in the world! So, we have kids! I didn't give birth, but we adopted them to the Fink family. Carol Addison Fink is our 3 year old girl who was born on August 4th 2010. Justine Bailey Fink is our 1 year old girl born on September 24th 2012. They are angels! I love them, and so does Woody. I am especially closer to Carol, and Woody is especially closer to Justine. Justine looks more like Woody. Justine has dark-dark brown hair and emerald green eyes. Carol looks like me. She has light brown hair and dark-dark big brown eyes. I only have a recent photo of Carol.

This was September 2013. She was playing in the garden, and I shot this photo! She is very protective of her little sister. Them in my life makes it so much better, better then candy! SOOO, BYE! See ya later!